Nightmares
by Ellie.Vanellie
Summary: In the middle of the night is when most imaginations come to life. But one particular night, a certain blonde haired teenager is up in his room, voices pulling and pushing him around. Is it too late for him? Will he be able to stop the voices echoing throughout his normally quiet head? WARNING: Will be sex in later chapters. TRIGGERS: Suicide/Self-harm. Eren/Armin (Yes, yaoi.)
1. Chapter 1

**Real quick author note!**

**I do not own any of the characters mentioned in the story, they all belong to their rightful owner Hajime Isayama.  
>Also, there are triggers in this first chapter. (Suicide and self-harm.) This chapter is not for the faint-hearted. But, I can reassure you that it will lighten up in the next chapter. ^^<br>This is aslo my first story for Shingeki no Kyojin (aka Attack on Titan), and I hope I can keep the characters.. Well, in character.  
>Thank you!<br>I hope you enjoy~!**

It was well passed midnight, nearing dawn, and most people were in their rooms asleep, seeing as they had chores to endure in the moring.

_Most._

In his own room, a teenager with shaggy blonde hair sat upon his bed; his hands over his head with his fragile face hidden behind his golden locks of hair, protecting his shaking form from the outside worls.

It had been weeks since the last mission; weeks since more brave soldiers gave their lives to the fight for humanity's sake. All because his pathetic plan failed_._

_'It's all your fault they're gone,' _voices echoed in the teen's head, causing broken sobs to force their way passed his cracked lips.

_'You're the reason they died. You're a murderer. Weak. __**Pathetic.' **_The angry voice spoke, sending shivers down Armin's spine.

He choked on his own siliva as he shook his head, trying to escape the haunting vioces. "No.. No.. You're w-wrong!" His bright blue eyes were wide with pure terror, tears soaking his pale cheeks as they trickled down passed his chapped lips, dripping off his chin.

A cold, menacing laugh filled the silence of his head, causing the broken teen to cringe and bury his head deeper within his arms.

_'How long before you send more to their graves? Before you kill Sasha? Jean? How long before you kill Mikasa? __**Eren?'**_ The menacing voice boomed throughout his head.

The teen's breath hitched at the mention of broken, hoarse sobs slipped passed his lips as his small frame quaked.

"What if it's true? What if _I_ kill him?" Armin's crystal blue eyes grew wide, fear sending his fragile body into a fit of panic. "I couldn't live with the thought of it. I'll lose everything." Tears poured from the teen's eyes as he let out a loud, choked cry of agony. Just the thought of losing Eren made his heart ache and his eyes sting with tears; but to be the person to cause his death? That killed him inside.

It was damn near silent for the next passing minutes, the only sounds were that of Armin's sobs. The voice had ceased, lost amongst all the wandering thoughts. After several quiet moments, a soft, calm and distant voice filled his head. A familiar voice.

_'It isn't too late, Armin,' _the soft voice spoke, _'you can stop it before it even begins.' _

What once was wide, fearful blue eyes, were now closed sorrowful orbs. He saw nothing but black. But slowly, as the voice spoke, an image started to take place.

Deep, vibrant green eyes. That's all he needed to picture before his eyes snapped open.

"I can end it.. Before I kill Eren?" Red, puffy blue eyes glanced around the room.

Moonlight shone throught the room's single window. It perfectly illuminated his small bed and wooden nightstand beside him.

Looking at the nightstand, a reflection of lgiht caused the shattered teen to squint, looking for what caused the single ray of light to momentarily blind him.

At the foot of his bed sat his gear for battle. Light was perfectly reflecting off the chipped metal of his blades.

_'You can put an end to the pain you've caused._'

Without a second thought, the blonde crawled to the edge of the bed, his mind and body numb as he picked up the damaged sword.

He stared at the his reflection in the metal. His once blue, crystal clear eyes now red, swollen orbs from his pitiful crying. His pale, thin cheeks were tear streaked; soft pink lips chapped and split. Blonde locks were knotted and twisted upon his small head like a torn mop. His voice was hoarse, and the blade in his hands shook as new tears threatened to spill over once more.

Armin Arlert was a complete wreck.

Before he could stop himself, the broken child brought the cold blade down on his thin, pale wrists.


	2. Chapter 2 - Promises

After hours of restless tossing and turning, Eren Jeagar finally gave up his opportunity to get some sleep.

To be honest, he's been worried about his blonde best friend. He had been acting out of character as of late; not talking very much, avoiding his friends, especially Eren and Mikasa; not eating at meal time, and other things that didn't seem like Armin. He had to have lost twenty pounds. _At least. _

The small blonde's uniform was baggier than ever, which was saying a lot. Eren had started to notice how the blonde's skills and training had began to lack when the teen arrived to class forty-five minutes late, his eyes bloodshot and skin a sickly pale. The bags under his eyes just seemed to add to his weary form. Eren kept trying to see what was bothering him, but Armin would just give hima small smile and reasuured him he was fine, there was nothing to worry about.

"Bullshit," muttered the green-eyed teen as he hit his palm against his forehead. He glared down at the throw blanket that was tangled around his legs, all his annoyance and worry building up until he let out an annoyed yell, kicking the dull piece of frabric off.

He was going to find out what was wrong once and for all.

Once he finished tying his pants' strings so they hung loosely around his hips, Eren was ready to sneak down the hall to Armin's room.

_'Why does it have to be all the way down at the opposite end of the hall?'_ The teen thought to himself as he slipped out his door, closing the old wooden menace as quietly as he could manage.

Just as it was about to click shut, it gave a long, agonizing groan of protest that echoed throughout the castle's sleeping halls. All blood stopped cold in the teen's rapidly pounding chest. He waited for a few moments, not hearing a sound, before silently walking his way to his best friend's room.

"Room 163..." Eren grumbled to himself as he struggled to read the black chipped, painted on numbers.

Once he made it to the door he was looking for, he silently managed to open it and slip inside. His eyes were glued to the floor as he closed the wooden door that seperated him from the outside world of training, and the personal living of each soldier.

Wide green eyes took in their surroundings, taking in every detail he could. Which honestly wasn't very much. The candle on the nightstand wasn't lit; the only light there was, was that of the full moon. After several moments of silence, Eren had figured the blonde was asleep, which wouldn't surprise him seeing as it must have been near four in the morning.

The teen sighed, a frown settled on his lips. He took a step back towards the door when a choked, almost silent sob, stopped him in his tracks.

Turning to face the direction the sound had come from, Eren's eyes had finally adjusted to the dark, and he let out a loud gasp.

On the bed sat his childhood best friend, covered by a deep, dark liquid that seemed to seep from his pale, thin arms that rested limply in his lap. The blonde shuffled on the sioled mattress, looking over at Eren with empty, sad eyes. The blade that had once been resting in his hands fell with a soft _'clink' _onto the cold cement floor. The only sound that broke the silence.

Eren stared at his friend in horror.

His long shaggy blonde locks were a mess that fell upon his angelic face, sticking to his tear-stained cheeks which looked almost a ghostly white in the moonlight. Eren's turquoise eyes locked with Armin's icy blue orbs; he could feel Armin's pain. Just by looking at him he felt his heart sink into the pit of his stomach. His cheeks looked so thin, he could almost see his jawbone.

As his eyes traveled down passed the blonde's face, he could see Armin's usually neat and clean white shirt was now missing its buttons and was wrinkled. The sleeves were shoved up to his elbows, his wrists a dark shade of crimson, soaking up his arms, lap, and bedding.

_'Cuts.'_

A small whimper escaped the smaller boy, and before Eren could help himself, he was across the small room in three large steps, enveloping his small form into his arms, his hands resting on his back as he pulled the blonde close.

What was once a silent room, was now filled with loud sobs of a young broken soldier. Armin wept into Eren's shoulder, soaking the other teen's shirt. Eren didn't care.

The older teen stroked the blonde's hair softly, shushing him gently.

"Armin... You need to look at me." The blonde shook his head, a loud broken cry slipping passed his lips. His grip on ERen's shirt was tight, his knuckles a milky white. No doubt his shirt was ruined now.

Eren took both of Armin's shoulders in his hands, gently shoving him back enough so he could see the younger teen's face. "You need to calm down and look at me!"

His harsh tone caused the small teen to snap his attention up at his friend, eyes swollen from his tears. "But... But I killed, killed our.. Friends." More sobs escaped Armin as his hands came up to cover his eyes, his small frame crippling over as he sobbed. "I... I'm a murderer! I killed our friends! T-They're dead because of me! Minna! Marco! Hannes! Who will be ne-!"

Before he could finsih, soft hot lips were forcing him to stay silent. Hot, sticky tears dripped off Eren's lashes and onto Armin's smooth cheeks.

Silently, Eren pulled back just enough so he could look deep within Armin's gorgeous ocean eyes. "Don't.. Don't you dare finish that sentence.."

The once harsh voice was replaced with a low, pained beg. Eren's torquoise eyes were stuck to Armin. The pain they both shared cutting through their beings like a paper cut.

Armin looked up at Eren and slowly felt himself coming undone once more. Tears brimmed his eyes as he used the back of his stained sleeve to wipe his nose. "I... I don't want to be responsible anymore...! I've hurt so many of our friends!" He fell forwards into Eren's chest, his arms holding loosely to the older teen's shoulder as his body quaked from his sobs. His throat was sore from all the cries, nose red from a runny nose, cheeks stained from tears. Eren just shushed him, stroking his back as he rest his nose against the other's forehead.

"Armin.. You need to listen to me. None of that was your fault. They joined the army to help save humanity; like you and I." His green orbs looked down into Armin's blue as he stroked some hair out of the blonde's face. "You aren't responsible for what happened. None of them would want to see you broken and torn like this..." He quietly murmured into the teen's hair, reaching down to gently hold the younger teen's hands.

He turned the blonde's hands over, glancing down at his wrists to take in the damage. He winced. Long and short red slashes ran up and down his pale wrists, red coating his porcelain skin and clothing. Eren gently knocked his knuckles against Armin's head before unbuttoning the blonde's shirt and pulling it off his shoulders. Tossing the ruined shirt aside, he got up and walked over to the nightstand which had a glass of water. "I hope you don't mind..." He trailed off as he picked up the glass, walking back over to the bed.

Eren motioned for Armin to stick his arms out, which the teen did after a few moments of hesitation. The brunette tore off a piece of his shirt, watching Armin closely as he dipped the cloth into the cool water, allowing it to soak up the liquid. He then took one of the other teen's arms gently, and dabbed away the blood, recieving a few whines and whimpers from the hurt teen. "E...Eren... It hurts..."

The teen glanced up at him, almost dumbfounded. "You did this to yourself, Armin. Of course it will hurt! Why... Why would you even do this?" He quietly shut his mouth, going back to work as he dipped the now soaked cloth into the glass once more, the water turning a deep red. After several moments of silence and cleaning, Armin finally spoke.

"I heard voices... I heard you. I heard Heichou. You all told me I could stop it... I couldn't take the voices..." Armin's voice wavered for a few moments before a single tear slipped passed his eyelids.

Once more, Eren took Armin into his arms, pulling him to him so the small teen's back was pressed against his chest. "Armin, those voices aren't me. They aren't Levi. Don't listen to those voices, listen to mine. Right now." He leaned Armin's head back so he would look up at him. "Listen to me, please..."

The blue eyed teen nodded, keeping his eyes locked with Eren's. "I'll listen to you."

Eren nodded, pulling him closer as he leaned down to kiss Armin's temple. "I don't know what I would do without you. You've always been there for Mikasa and I. You went through all that training to be here with us now. I don't want you to kill yourself. I want to wake up knowing that I can see your smile every day." He leaned down to kiss the other's lips gently, yet full of passion and pain.

It startled the blonde for a moment, his eyes wide. Slowly, Armin's icy orbs slid shut, and he leaned into the kiss. Tears spilled down his cheek as his small body began to shake in Eren's arms. All the pain, hurt, regret; everything, was being sucked out of him in one tender kiss. It was being replaced with warmth, acceptance, friendship; _love._ His feelings for Eren were always something he kept to himself, never thinking the brunette could return his affection. But deep inside, Eren worried over the same exact thing.

As the two pulled away, lips swollen, Eren looked down at Armin with deep affection. "Armin, I care for you. I can't let you do something like this again. Promise me you won't. Promise."

Armin nodded, a small smile on his lips as he brought Eren closer, turning around so he was on his knees in front of the taller teen. "I... I promise, Eren.. I won't do anything stupid. I want to be able to see everyday. I want to feel those kisses against my lips. I want to be loved..." He glanced down at the ground, fumbling with Eren's shirt nervously.

Eren laughed quietly, pulling Armin into another heated kiss, his hands on the small blonde's hips. Pressing his tongue against the blonde's lips, the other teen's cheeks flushed as he opened his mouth slightly, enough to grant Eren permission. With a gentle shove, Armin fell back on the bed, using his elbows to prop himself up as Eren leaned down, not once breaking the kiss. His tongue traveled around Armin's mouth, sucking playfully on his tongue, earning a small mewl from the teen beneath him. Just as he was getting into the kiss, Eren pulled back, a string of siliva connecting them. "Let's get those cuts wrapped up, okay?"

Armin nodded, face flushed as he bit his lip lightly. "Yeah, let's do that."

**Author Note!  
><strong>**So, this isn't the best chapter. ;-; But, I promise it'll get better! ^^  
>Lemon shall be ahead!<strong>


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